Monday, September 12, 2005

TODAY'S TIP: Get a job or have a hobby.

If you aren't working full-time at Dwayne Reade or Saks Fifth Avenue, it's not a big deal, but you should have a regular steady income. Perhaps you are an actor and you have an excuse not to have a "real" job, such as during the day you go to auditions or at night you perform in showcases. If being an actor is what you want to do, you should treat it like your job, even if it's only a part-time job. You should spend at least 4 hours or more a day, focusing on your goal. That means looking for auditions, auditioning, sending out head-shots, or whatever crap actors do when they want to become actors. But if you want to take the easy route, just get a damn job - preferrably a high-paying one.

Ideally, both you and your girlfriend should have jobs. But if neither of you do, you and your girlfriend will be spending too much time together and will start to hate eachother. You and her both need time away from eachother so that you can miss eachother. Not too much time away from eachother mind you - just a few hours apart is all it should take for you to miss eachother if you are truly in love.

Super ideally, you should be making all the money and your girlfriend should be cooking you home-made meals, fluffing up the pillows and sucking your dick on a regular basis, when she isn't reading her favorite writer's new novel in a chair in the sun with a pretty hat on, painting her toe nails a delightful shade of sparkling pink on the deck overlooking the beach in your back yard, or hosting a ladies tea and luncheon on the roof patio garden. Tip: You don't need to be rich to have things like "gardens" and "decks". These aren't necessarily out of your reach, especially if you happen to be resourceful and/or handy.

But the goal of this site is to just try to get all you thoughtless assholes out there (and you know who you are) to be "better" boyfriends, not the best ones in the world, though if you shoot for "the best", you might land somewhere within the range of "acceptable". Which is almost unacceptable.

You can be a better boyfriend, but it, like anything in life worth being, requires work. Until next time, clip your finger nails, make sure there's no dirt underneath them. And call your mom, you thoughtless asshole. Do you know she squeezed you OUT OF HER VAGINA?


Blogger Gerardo said...

thanks for waste your time trying to make men better men. I love my girlfriend and I do many things for her that she says she apreciates, but I want to do more. So please don't leave writting, we still needing help even if many of us don't say it.

9:20 AM  

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