Friday, December 02, 2005

Tip #731: Don't Go To Sleep In A Fight

With every boyfriend I've ever had except for one, I've adhered to this rule. It makes the sleep crusty. It's like going to bed on a stomach so full of junk food and alcohol, you are bound to wake in the night with cramps, night sweats and reeking of old socks.

If the two of you are so unhappy with eachother that you can't even make up before you go to sleep, what's the point of dating at all? Do you think it's going to magically get better one day?

Anger is negative energy, wrapped around you like a meany burrito.

Going to sleep in a fight just makes the world a sadder place for everyone.

42 Comments:

Blogger m.d. said...

tough week at the office, huh, jessy?

12:55 PM  
Blogger Rachel's secret said...

i hate it when they just sleep on it =x

3:18 AM  
Blogger honyi said...

Hello
I'm from Singapore, I chanced upon this blog and I think it's fabulous work! You write really well, and I'd love to see more coming from you. Congratulations!

10:21 PM  
Blogger John Markos O'Neill said...

I saw this on a sign in North Carolina.

"Don't go to bed mad. Stay up and fight instead."

I've tried the "go to bed angry" thing a few times and it often works better than you might expect. In my experience, I wake up wondering what I was so angry about. Sometimes, denial is underrated. YMMV.

2:02 PM  
Blogger John Markos O'Neill said...

Of course, I'm not a boyfriend. I'm a husband. We have a different set of rules. :)

2:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't get too comfortable with this rule...unless you want to stay unmarried forever.

2:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your blog got metafiltered and the bad boyfriends there are having their usual blazecock pileon over it. I won't comment in the metafilter thread because I refuse to pay $5 to join a blazecock pileon so I'll just say here that "You Can Be A Better Boyfriend" is funny and you have a good ear, I mean that with intense seriosity, this is near Achewood-quality diversion. And the metamorons all hate Achewood, too and don't see why it's funny. So there you go.

2:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

SIgh...I'm typically the one who wants to resolve the problem where she is the "i'm sleeping on the couch!" type. I fully agree with the resolving it before bed concept except when parties are drunk cos sensiblity and rational thought tends to escape.

2:51 PM  
Anonymous William Spermatazoa said...

Quit starting fights when I'm trying to sleep. And what the hell is a blazecock?!

3:07 PM  
Blogger Never teh bride said...

During a fight, I like to hose myself and my bf down with chlorine gas. It calms us down and keeps us totally germ free!

3:11 PM  
Blogger Mr. Grimm said...

I agree. If you wake up not angry anymore, why were you angry in the first place? Recognize and release your anger.

3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog'd read better from the first person, instead of playing at contrived relationship-do's/don't's. This from a 'metamoron' who doesn't know wtf Achewood is, but for your sake I hope this blog doesn't get fark'd, for then you'd really see some 'blazecock pileons' and I mean that with _intense seriosity_.

3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog'd read better from the first person, instead of playing at contrived relationship-do's/don't's. This from a 'metamoron' who doesn't know wtf Achewood is, but for your sake I hope this blog doesn't get fark'd, for then you'd really see some 'blazecock pileons' and I mean that with _intense seriosity_.

3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those boys (blazecocks) at metafilter really hate this blog. What the hell do they know anyways. They are all bad boyfriends!!!!

4:34 PM  
Anonymous mike said...

guy above me: seriosly too much seriosity.

this is an awesome blog.

4:35 PM  
Blogger Helen Hunter-Boyle said...

Hurr hurr hurr, Anonymous said "cock."

4:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm really glad that you post under your real name, so that I can make sure never to date you.

In fact, I would be willing to go to jail if for no other reason to break one of your "rules," and thus render myself permanently ineligable for you-dating.

4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, I guess that last comment was a little harsh.

I really meant to post it under the "Buy her jewelry" thread. Or the "Buy a big house" thread.

4:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

im from the UK and i really REALLY wanna know what a blazecock pileon is...i'm not gay or anything but...but wow, is it like the cocks are on fire? Is there man-love? Should i buy them jewellery? Would they put the jewellery on their flaming cocks? Does this highten the pleasure? Honestly...you americans with your crazy customs and gross obesity and the like.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Alvin said...

Nice blog!

6:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

PISS OFF YOU TEDIOUS CUNT!!!

5:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can I add that masturbating furiously before bedtime helps ameliorate some of the anger and stress caused by late night quarrels, and has the added advantage of pissing her off even more!

5:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you sound like such a boring cunnt that i'd probably fall asleep whilst giving you one, let alone whilst arguing with you... come to think of it, if i was fighting with you i'd probaly end up smashing your fucking face to a pulp, and then giving you one....

6:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

READING THESE COMMENTS HAS GIVEN ME A MILD ERECTION

6:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Erection? I've wee'd a bit.

6:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You really are a patronising whinging spunk bucket.

6:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell that to Gerald McClellan.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you reading this sam, you cunt?

8:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apparently David Moyes is resigning this afternoon.

8:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Blaze cock comes from August 21st's entry and if certain blazecocks would just READ before they piled ON about how bad a blog is to READ then they would know that, and if they were not dullards they would have figured out that it is an invented portmanteau word such as one might find in Charles Dodgson or Ray Smuckles. Seriousity looks putrid, seriosity is a awesome word, $5 is highway robbery damn.

9:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never sleep during fights with girls.

That does not render me a 'better boyfriend,' but rather a psychological bully with a misanthropic streak who gets a twitchy eye watching tired stupid girls cry.

9:12 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

as i'm single i like to argue with myself after a night in the pub. I roll out, swearing at myself, thus insulted i proceed to strangle myself whilst rolling about in the gutter.
in the morning i make up by making love to myself.
whilst i watch.

9:22 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Still would though.

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hijack of a thread surely

oh no its dawn

10:43 AM  
Blogger Mulling It Over said...

Of course, the corollary to this is:

Don't start a fight when your boyfriend is trying to go to sleep.

1:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Arf

And to summarise the original post:

'I am both aggravating and tiresome in equal measure'

James

3:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't want to have to READ more to find out what a blazecock is - for god's sake, what a suggestion...

8:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

An anagram of "Jessica Delfino" is "Stupid Fucking Old Cunt".

FACT!

PS - Fuck off you cunt.

1:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You dropped this...

Tedious

6:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is an appalling blog!

6:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a sufferer of narcolepsy I find your blog both demeaning and hurtful.

I often have very little control over when I sleep, so I find your advise that... Going to sleep in a fight just makes the world a sadder place for everyone. rather hurtful. It's not my fault if I fall asleep during a fight.

d) Fuck Off

8:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Will you marry me?

11:40 PM  

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