Monday, December 27, 2010


OK, well, you don't celebrate Christmas. She doesn't celebrate Christmas. She's Jewish. You're cheap. You're a Jehovas Witness. She's away. Whatever the reason, I don't want to hear it. Every single woman in the world, I don't care who she is or where she's from, wants presents. There doesn't have to be an excuse, but if you can come up with one, you will become the star of her day.

You don't have to call it a "Christmas present" but you do have to wrap it, or at least put it in a pretty bag. Put a little effort into it is all I'm saying. Effort puts you so far ahead of the game, even a smidgeon of it, as so few men are willing to put effort into anything besides jerking off, and even that is a stretch.

Some great ideas for Christmas presents, if you're really that clueless that you have no idea what women like:

clothing / make up / gift certificates
a nice dinner
a trip somewhere
a nice dish / tea set / candle holders

All of these ideas suck without your enthusiasm and thoughtfulness. It's up to you to take whatever you get and put a little bit of je nais cest quai into it so that you don't look like the utter idiot you tend to look like the other 364 days of the year.

Notice lingerie is not on the list. That is a gift for you, not for her. Though many ladies do enjoy getting sexy toys and lingerie and things like that for gifts, make sure she has asked for it or at least hinted that she wants it.

A note about hinting: don't be so oblivious in life that you don't pick up hints. People who walk around clueless are the same people who get hit by buses. Keep your ears and eyes open at all times, except when sleeping, and especially around the woman you adore. This guarantees that you will be a better boyfriend than any of those other schmoes your girlfriend wasted precious minutes of her life with. Go get her, tiger!